Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Slump


This is the best I can come up with to summarize my feelings about books and blogging right now.  I've been blogging for almost six years and reading for my entire life and I cannot remember a slump of this magnitude before.  I've given up on about half the books I've started, not because of the book itself but just because I couldn't bring myself to care about it.  Books that I know at another time I'd go nuts for.  It comes up as due at the library or the day passes for its release and I just stop trying.  I can count on my hands the number of really great books that I can truly say I've loved this year.

I've read all the great posts and listicles about breaking a reading rut, but I think really you've just gotta stick it out.  It's probably largely related to having just a somewhat rough year in general.  I've mentioned depression and OCD here in the past and largely it's an issue that I have under control.  My depression particularly is cyclical and not something that affects my life 98% of the time.  The OCD is more constant, but it's not usually out of my control.  It's been about five years since my last episode, so I was due for another bout, and this one has been remarkably mild compared to the past. 

 What I'm trying to say is that things are well under control and I'm not really in need of any sympathy or sorrow, but it has seriously messed with my reading mojo.  In the past I've been incapacitated and I'm super proud that this time around I've got a handle on things and life is continuing as normal.  I'm a lot stronger than I used to be.  But this time a thing that I used to basically revolve my life around has become dry and pointless.  I've spent more time in the last two months playing Cascade and Candy Crush than I have reading and it sucks.  I miss reading.  I miss being excited about learning stuff and hearing stories.  

I've spent a lot of time pouring through Library Journal and making lists of books I'm excited about...until I get my hands on a copy, when it suddenly becomes mundane and uninteresting.  I'm not giving up on reading and I'm definitely not giving up my little blog, but it might be slower here for a while.  It's super hard to make myself write a review for a book that I didn't have strong feelings about - and right now that's almost every book.  If I really hate something, I've got lots to say, and if I love something I want to share it with the world, but it's hard to find the motivation to say "meh" about 40 of the 50 odd books I've read this year.  Especially when I don't think many of them actually deserve the "meh" I'm currently giving them.

All that to say, be patient.  I'll be back more regularly when my reading groove gets back.  I'm taking some steps to try to make it easier to read (like deleting games from my phone and only starting books I have a high likelihood of loving), but if any of you have other suggestions I'd love to hear them!


2 comments:

  1. I completely understand your reading slump! I keep reading, but I rarely find anything that I love. They are all just ok. I am trying the quantity approach in hoping something will stick. But it is making me sad. Something that I could count on to make me happy when nothing would has changed. And that's kind of depressing.

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  2. You read a lot of books a year. Last year I read 90 (trying for 100) and I am so, so burned out. I started watching Netflix and I feel like it's unproductive, but sometimes you need something mindless. I'm thinking about starting crocheting so I'm really hitting old-lady-level now.

    I too hate the slumps. I went a month and a half without completing one book. There does feel like a hole, but sometimes the thought of reading is tiring. Is that bad? LOL! I'm sort of on a "roll" having completed a few books. But I sacrifice sleep to read and I'm not sure that's good.

    Have you read Shallow Graves? I got the real book from the library as opposed to reading from my phone. I'm almost finished, but it's kept my attention. I've been logging in and finding a bunch of other books to read so maybe I'm coming out of the slump. It's true - all you can do is let it ride out.

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