Thursday, May 29, 2014

I Am Not a Booknerd

There are a million articles floating around right now that tell you ten ways to know if you're a bookworm or captioned "You might be a book nerd if..."  Today I am here to confess that, despite all appearances to the contrary, the internet has informed me that I am most definitely NOT a bookworm.

Here's a culling of book nerd fails in my life (will link to the lists I pulled from at the bottom).

You know you're a book nerd if...
1) The thought of ripping apart a book for a craft project horrifies you.
Um, if you've ever been to my house, you know that I tear books to pieces in the name of arts and crafts on the reg.  Pretty much every room in my house has some form of book decor in it.  I don't think books are sacred artifacts.  I'm not going to destroy a Gutenberg Bible or anything, but a MMP from the Dollar Tree or an outdated law book from the recycle bin?  Even a classic novel that's been loved to death and is no longer good for reading?  Fodder for my craft obsession.
2) You've been caught sniffing books in the back aisle of a used bookstore.
I don't really care about how books smell, as long as they don't smell like cigarettes or cat pee or something.  I like the used book store smell fine, but I don't really want a candle that smells like it and I don't go out of my way to smell books.
3) Even though you're grown, the words "school book fair" excites you to this day.
Never been to a school book fair.
4) You hate going to movies based on books, because they never live up to the movies in your head.
Books and movies are two separate things in my mind.  I don't care if a movie is different from a book or takes plenty of liberties.  They're two totally different things and they can't be judged on the same scale.  Apples and oranges.
5) You look at garage sales and thrift stores as a way to rescue books, not just buy them.
See my thoughts on crafting with books.  Garage sales and thrift stores are a GREAT way to get cheap books, but the books don't need me to rescue them because they are, as I said, not sacred, irreplaceable artifacts.  Old math textbooks and accounting manuals can be recycled and the world will not stop turning.
10) You've added GPS tags to your bookplates so you know where your loaned books are at all times.
I keep books I've read for the sole purpose of loaning them out.  A large part of my joy in owning a large collection of books is in handing them out to friends at appropriate moments.  When I loan a book, I don't think about whether or not it'll be returned, what condition it'll be in, or how long that friend will keep it.  If I never get it back, that's cool too.  Once again, NOT SACRED.  It's a thing and things can be replaced. 
11) A book has made you cry hysterically in public.
I have a heart of stone when it comes to books.  Here are a few books that didn't even bring a tear to my eye: The Fault in Our Stars, The Book Thief, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas...I could go on for quite a while with this.
12) You have tons of book boyfriends.
I don't really get crushes on book characters.  Maybe that's related to not crying a lot?  I do get emotionally involved in books, I just know they're not real, so the whole having a crush thing doesn't usually happen.



  1. Yep, you're not a booknerd. Me neither, but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy reading a good story whenever the opportunity presents itself, right? :)

  2. I love this so much!!! I am the exact same way!!! We are a lot more similar than I thought besides the fact that you read WAY more than me ;-)