Monday, February 21, 2011

My new plan for life: super long personal post

So I kind of hit a wall on Friday with basically life in general.  I realized that all my time is spent doing things that I don't really want to do or like to do.  The things that are important to me are pushed to the back because I'm wasting time on little things that I don't really care about.  Basically just floating through life without seriously pursuing anything important.  So Friday night, after my little meltdown at work, Luke took me out to a nice dinner and we talked about what kind of changes we need to make.  I also had a very very good conversation with Bestie about it and some of my online friends. 

What I came up with is a new list of 6 priorities.  These are the things that I care about that are more important the the little time wasters I've been spending my life on.  I'm a MAJOR people pleaser and I have a very very hard time saying no to anything.  But I'm really going to start working on saying no to things that don't fit in with the priority list.  Because that is how I end up spending all my time doing little things that other people, especially co-workers, could very easily do themselves.  So here is my new priority list, in order of importance. 

1.  My relationship with God - spending time praying, reading my Bible, etc.

2.  My marriage - lots of things fall under this priority, but the main one is spending more time with my husband.
3.  My "family" - yes, by this I mean the dogs - training, walking, playing, going to the park, all of that stuff that I love to do and don't make enough time for.

4.  My health - working on my stretches, taking time to rest when I need it, exercising, and eating healthy - and a lot of this goes with spending more time with my husband and our puppies.  I can combine Chief's walking, training, and playing with my own exercise.  For example: this morning Chief and I walked over a mile and worked on his walking without a special "big boy" collar, which he'll have to do in order to be a therapy dog.  Also, my friend Jody wrote an amazing blog series recently on the redemption of her physical body and how major walking way for her.  As Chief and I have been walking the past two weeks, I have really identified with her story more and more.  I'm starting to really enjoy our walks.

5.  My hobbies - reading and crafting/refinishing furniture.  Both are things I love to do that have been suffering lately because I've been letting time wasters get in the way.  I'm pretty much cutting out tv to make these a priority.  I'll still watch with Luke, and occasionally on my own, but I won't just sit down in front of the tv as soon as I get home from work to "see what's on".  Picking two or three shows that we both like and watching those together is plenty.

6.  My house - getting things organized and keeping them that way.  I am a terrible housekeeper.  My house is usually filthy and disorganized.  I do really good at getting it super clean when company is coming over and then within two days it's disgusting again.  I want a clean, organized home that stays in that condition.

So, I'm kind of revising my "resolutions" and changing it to "priorities".  Hopefully, this means I'll be blogging more and saying "no" to the things I don't want to do.  You'll also notice that my job is not a priority.  That is intentional.  I am not placing work and its stresses over my family and happiness anymore.  Luke and I have always maintained that I support our family domestically and Luke supports our family financially.  Not because we think that's the "right" way or that there is a "wrong" way for anyone else, but it's what we want.  So letting my job stress affect my ability to organize the house, enjoy my hobbies, and take care of my husband and family is antithetical to my priorities.  From now on, work stays at work, and I say no to anything other than my 8 hours a day.

What do you guys think, if you read that whole long post?  Any suggestions?  Please feel free to hold me accountable to these priorities.  I want and need people to remind me that my job is not to please other people.  I think I really get the idea of being a servant and wanting to show Christ's humility by serving confused with putting people's opinions above God's.  Yes, it may be "serving" a coworker to stay late at work, but it's not serving my marriage or my spirit.  I need to find a balance. 

Whew.  That was long.


  1. I think what you're doing is great. I've learned the hard way that you need to put yourself (and your husband) first because if you don't, who will?

    Yeah, it's nice to do everything you can for other people but I found when the tables were turned, I was always getting the shaft and the feelings were never reciprocated.

    I hope everything goes smoothly with this new plan of yours!

  2. Great priorities, Julie! I recently started caring more about home life more than work and it's done wonders for my attitude.

    As far as getting your house in order, check out She has a lot of great ideas for cleaning that save time so you can get back to the important things in life. It's been a life-saver for me since I HATE to clean.

  3. Ugh, my house is one of my new priorities too! I've learned over the past year, that I have to put my family (hubs and baby) over people that I can't say no to. It's tough because some of that involves family, but there's only so much I can do in one day, week, month, year.

    Good for you!

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  5. I know how you feel.
    Good for you for putting family before work. It's something a lot of people don't do and a lot of people don't understand. My health and family will ALWAYS come first.
    Good luck with the priorities! I think you have them set perfectly

  6. Great Goals!! And Im sure God and the hubs will be happy for extra time...:D

    BTW thanks for the info on the copyright stuff...I cant believe how many people steal from other bloggers. I understand shadowing reviews when you need help but to copy and paste and pretend its your own...big BAD!

  7. Those are great priorities. I've been thinking of doing something similar myself. I feel like my life is really out of balance right now and I need to do something to fix it.